Is Stress Running Your Career?
How stress changes the way you think, perform, and see your options—and how understanding your patterns gives you back a choice.
For analytical women in STEM who know they’re capable, but are worn down by heavy workloads and feel drained, stuck, or less confident than they used to be, at work and at home.
© 2026 Own the CHAIR™. All rights reserved.
Stress is common. Burnout is something more.
Large studies of working women keep finding the same thing: many of us are exhausted. And stress doesn’t only come from work. Caregiving, family, health, and money worries drain the same energy.
senior-level women say they frequently feel burned out at work, compared with about 5 in 10 senior-level men.1
of women say their stress levels are higher than a year ago, and 1 in 4 took time off work in the past year because of mental health challenges.2
The heavy load
Long days that spill into evenings and weekends. You’re covering more than one job, and the list never gets shorter.
Always on
You never fully switch off. Messages late at night, email before you’re out of bed, your inbox even on vacation.
Alone and unsupported
You’re expected to figure it all out on your own. No one checks in, and real support is hard to find.
Sunday evenings bring a sense of Monday dread. Tasks that used to be easy now feel hard. And the stress follows you home, into your evenings, your weekends, and your sleep.
You’re not weak. You’re dealing with a lot, and you may have been for a very long time.
The World Health Organization describes burnout as chronic workplace stress that hasn’t been successfully managed: exhaustion, feeling distant or cynical about your job, and feeling less effective.3 This guide is about sustained workplace stress, the kind that doesn’t let up for months. It is not meant to diagnose or treat burnout. If stress is affecting your health, please talk with a qualified professional, such as your doctor or a licensed therapist.
Sources are listed at the end of this guide. Figures are as reported in each study; these studies aren’t specific to STEM.
Two versions of you
Think of a time you were at the top of your game: clear, full of ideas, sure of yourself. Now think of a week when the deadlines came back to back and the stress kept building. Same person. Same skills. And yet it felt completely different.
| FULL OF ENERGY | DEPLETED | |
|---|---|---|
| MIND | Clear and focused. Ideas come easily | Foggy, scattered, stuck on a loop |
| MOTIVATION | You want to start, and keep going | Everything feels like too much |
| BODY | Light, steady, awake | Tense and worn out, but unable to relax |
| CONFIDENCE | You trust your judgment | You second-guess everything |
| CHOICES | You see several options | It’s this or that, or no option at all |
Notice what didn’t change: your intelligence, training, and experience. What changed is how much of them you can access and use. Stress narrows what you can see, and when you see less, you have fewer options. That matters most when you’re facing a big decision, like whether to stay in your job.
Energy and stress move in opposite directions
Your stress level is inversely proportional to your energy: the more depleted you are, the more stressed you feel. You can’t be full of positive energy and stressed at the same time. So to reduce your stress, raise your positive energy.
You’ve been at your best before, which means it’s available to you.
The difference between these two versions of you is energy, and energy can be understood, measured, and raised. The research-backed Energy Leadership Index® (ELI) assessment shows how much of your energy goes to draining thoughts under stress. Curious? Send me a note and say “ELI.”
Three things influence your energy
So what moves you from one version of you to the other? Think of your energy like a phone battery. Three things decide how full it stays.
What slowly pulls it down
Like apps running in the background: areas of your life, such as sleep, support, or held-in feelings, that drain you a little at a time, often without you noticing.
What recharges it
Like a charger: simple practices you can use on purpose, even on a stressful day, to bring your energy back up.
What drops it in seconds
Like a sudden power drop: a single thought, such as “I’m not cut out for this,” that takes you from full to empty right when you need to perform.
Why working harder doesn’t fix it
Most of us already know what we “should” do: speak up, set a boundary, ask for help. Under stress, we can’t reach those skills, and our mind goes blank. Change doesn’t start with doing more. It starts with your energy: noticing what drains it, using what raises it, and catching what blocks it.
What drains your energy?
Every person is different. What drains one person’s energy may not drain another’s, and what drains you at work may not drain you at home. That is why it matters to understand what drains your energy and what raises it.
Six areas of your life affect your energy. They are called energy influencers, because each one can raise your energy or lower it. When one area stays low for a long time, the other areas are affected too. Below is what could drain your energy in each area. Notice which ones apply to you. Your list may be different.
Physical
- Too little sleep or rest
- Skipped meals, too little water, too much caffeine
- Shallow breathing and little movement
- Illness, injury, or health worries
Social
- Too much, or too little, time with people
- Stressful or critical relationships
- Feeling unsupported or unheard
- Unwritten rules like “always be available”
Emotional
- Not noticing what you feel
- Holding feelings in, then reacting strongly later
- Reacting instead of responding
- Needs or expectations that are not met
Spiritual
- Work that doesn’t fit your values
- An unclear sense of purpose or direction
- Goals that aren’t really yours
- Little room for what matters outside work
Mental
- Multitasking and constant interruptions
- Too many thoughts and repeated worry
- Unclear priorities
- Too little, or too much, challenge
Environmental
- A noisy, cluttered, or uncomfortable workspace
- Tight deadlines and constant change
- Tools or equipment that do not work well
- Conditions you can’t control at work or home
Why this matters: knowing what drains your energy, and what raises it, shows you where to start. You can stop judging yourself and take action on what is affecting you.
Which of the six is lowest for you right now? Pick one small thing you could change this week to raise it, even a little.
What raises your energy?
There are ten energy boosters, also called energy disciplines. They’re practices, and like any skill, they get stronger the more you use them. Here are the foundational three. Each one builds on the one before it.
Awareness
Noticing what you feel and think, and separating the facts from your assumptions.
The situation becomes clearer and more manageable, and you have a place to start.
Acceptance
Accepting what’s beyond your control: other people’s reactions, their decisions, the past. Accepting isn’t agreeing or giving up.
It frees the energy you were spending on what won’t change.
Conscious choice
Choosing your response on purpose, instead of reacting on autopilot.
You see more than one option, and you choose from your values, not your stress.
Next time you feel stress rising, pause and ask yourself three questions:
On autopilot
You react from habit and stress, keep doing what you’ve always done, and end up more drained.
By choice
You let go of what you can’t control, act with more clarity, and keep more of your energy.
Even when your energy is high, one thought can pull it down in seconds. Those thoughts are energy blockers.
Keep reading ↓What’s blocking you?
Sometimes you know what to do, you have the energy, and something still stops you. There are four energy blockers: patterns of thinking that hold you back, often without you noticing.
You’re about to present an important project to the stakeholders. You’ve practiced, you’re well rested, and your energy is high. Then these thoughts show up:
Limiting belief
“I’m the only woman in the room. Men don’t listen to women.”
Assumption
“Last time they questioned my credibility. It’ll happen again.”
Interpretation
Someone checks their phone: “They’re bored.”
The inner critic
“I’m really not cut out for this.”
In seconds, your energy drops. You rush your slides, your voice tightens, and when the questions come, you go blank or get defensive.
Now use the three boosters
Awareness
“I’m nervous, and that’s normal. I’ve prepared, and I have something of value to share.”
Acceptance
“I can’t control how they’ll react. I can control how I present.”
Conscious choice
“If they push back, I’ll ask questions and use it to make my idea better.”
You slow down, make eye contact, and meet tough questions with curiosity. Same person, same preparation. A very different way of showing up.
This week, catch one blocking thought and write it down. Then ask: Is this a fact, or an assumption? Would I say this to a friend I respect?
Stay and suffer, or quit and risk it? Those aren’t your only choices.
When you’re depleted, you see only two options, and neither feels right. So many of us do nothing, or we leave in a hurry. Both have costs that are easy to miss.
Waiting usually makes it worse
The stress keeps building and starts to affect your evenings, sleep, health, and relationships. Your confidence drops, and you may start to think the problem is you. The longer you wait, the less energy you have to make a change.
The same problem can repeat
A new job can seem like the answer. But if you leave without dealing with what’s causing the stress, the same habits go with you: saying yes when you mean no, harsh self-criticism, never switching off. Months later, you face the same problem in a new job.
You have more options than you think
Stay and change what you can
Develop the skills and strategies to have the conversation you’ve been avoiding, set a boundary, renegotiate your workload, or ask for the support you need.
Stay and change your perspective on what you can’t change
There’s usually more than one way to look at a situation. Finding a compromise raises your energy more than feeling like a victim or fighting it.
Leave with a plan
If leaving is the right choice, decide deliberately: know why you’re leaving and what you want next. The coping skills you develop will go with you to any job.
Changing jobs doesn’t change the habits that drain you. Work on them, and you’ll make a better decision, whether you stay or leave.
Ask yourself: If I started a new job tomorrow, which of my current problems would I still have? Start working on those now.
Knowing your patterns is the first step. Changing them is easier with support.
Coaching gives you support to make these changes last. We work on two things together: your energy, and the skills you need to succeed at work. We also look at options beyond “stay and suffer” or “quit and risk it”: changing what you can, changing how you see what you cannot change, or leaving with a plan. You make your choices from a clear state, not a drained one.
Energy drainers
We look at all six areas, at work and at home, and find strategies to manage each one.
Energy boosters
We choose the practices that fit you and work on mastering them, so you can use them whenever you need to.
Energy blockers
We identify the thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, and inner critic that limit you, and use strategies and mindset shifts to reduce their effect.
Navigating difficult conversations
Learning what to say is only part of it. We work on what stops you from saying it, so you can say no, push back, give tough feedback, and ask for what you need.
Time and workload management
Prioritizing what matters most, protecting your time, and renegotiating a workload that has grown beyond one job.
Presence and visibility
Speaking up with confidence, making your work and impact visible, and being recognized for the value you bring.
And just as important: using these skills under stress
Knowing what to say or do is not the same as being able to do it under pressure. We practice strategies that help you use these skills when it matters: in a tense meeting, when someone pushes back on your idea, or when a request arrives at 9 p.m. So your skills are available when you need them most, not only when things are calm.
The result: you stay clear and steady under pressure, have the skills to handle what your work asks of you, trust yourself, and make choices from your values, not from stress.
“I was feeling paralyzed and unable to move in any direction because I wasn’t confident in making the right choice, and I felt like lots of things hinged on others’ decisions.”
“Now I consider others’ needs and opinions, but I can decide what I feel is best with or without their validation and approval. I have a foundation of skills that lets me confidently break apart future decisions.”
“I was dealing with burnout, imposter syndrome, and self-doubt. I had blocks I wasn’t even aware of yet.”
“My fear felt less intimidating. I felt empowered, in a calm, steady way, and it felt like Lala was teaching me how to use my own wisdom. I sent the pitch and prepared my very first workshop.”
Quotes are from clients’ own written feedback after a full coaching engagement. Individual experiences; results vary, and the shift comes from the work you do.
Want to know your primary energy drainer at work?
Take the assessment to find out.
Ready to talk?
Book a free call. We’ll talk about what’s going on at work, what you’d like to change, and whether coaching is the right next step for you.
Book my free callSources and credits
Version: October 2026 (Rev 6)
Sources
- Lean In & McKinsey & Company (2025). Women in the Workplace 2025. womenintheworkplace.com
- Deloitte Global (2025). Women @ Work 2025: A Global Outlook. Survey of 7,500 women across 15 countries. deloitte.com/content/dam/assets-shared/docs/collections/2025/deloitte-women-at-work-2025-a-global-outlook.pdf
- World Health Organization (2019). Burn-out an “occupational phenomenon”: International Classification of Diseases. who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-diseases
Energy Leadership® framework: Schneider, B. D. Energy Leadership. Wiley (2008); Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching.
Credits and permissions
This guide contains my interpretation of the copyrighted work of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). Energy Leadership® concepts were created by iPEC and Bruce D Schneider. They are explained here in my own words, with my own examples and scenarios. The terms energy influencers (called energy drainers here), energy disciplines (called energy boosters here), and energy blockers, including the inner critic, come from iPEC’s Energy Leadership® framework. No iPEC charts, worksheets, or report pages are reproduced. To learn more, read Energy Leadership by Bruce D Schneider.
Trademarks. iPEC® and Energy Leadership® are registered trademarks of the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching, used here with attribution. Own the CHAIR™ is independent of iPEC. iPEC has not reviewed, sponsored, or endorsed this guide, and I am not an employee or agent of iPEC. Concepts © 2010–2025 iPEC. All rights reserved.
What is mine. The wording, examples, scenarios, illustrations, and design in this guide, and the Own the CHAIR™ name and brand, are my original work and © 2026 Own the CHAIR™. All rights reserved. No part of this guide may be reproduced, copied, distributed, shared, posted online, sold, adapted, or transmitted in any form or by any means without my prior written consent and approval. It is for your own personal, non-commercial use only. Please don’t present these concepts as your own, and always attribute the Energy Leadership® concepts to iPEC. To request permission, contact ownthechair.com.
Important. This guide is for education and self-reflection only. It isn’t medical, psychological, or mental health advice and isn’t a diagnosis. If stress is affecting your health, please talk with a qualified professional. Statistics are as reported by their sources. Client quotes come from their own written feedback; individual experiences and results vary.